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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28612707">so i’m glad my daddy didn’t love me</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/miserybug/pseuds/miserybug'>miserybug</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>assorted mcyt one shots [7]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Dream SMP - Fandom, Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Adopted Toby Smith | Tubbo, Angry Toby Smith | Tubbo, Angst, Bad Parent Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Daddy Issues, Gen, President Toby Smith | Tubbo, i am mad at philza for being a bad father the fanfic, please stop repressing your feelings tubbo</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 09:13:34</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,264</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28612707</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/miserybug/pseuds/miserybug</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>He’s seventeen and the country he gave up everything for is a chunk error. He’s seventeen and the worst president the nation’s ever had. He’s seventeen, and his father figure abandoned him for the second time in his fucking life.</p><p>Or, Tubbo and Phil have a talk at the end of the world.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Toby Smith | Tubbo &amp; Phil Watson</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>assorted mcyt one shots [7]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1963288</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>283</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>so i’m glad my daddy didn’t love me</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>“and by the time that i was fourteen, i was the president of the country”</p><p>TW/CW: abandonment, bad father phil, mentions of the events of january 6th and october 16th</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Tubbo begins his presidency with nothing more than a crater, some plans to rebuild, and a dream. He ends it with nothing more than a crater. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Down to bedrock in the worst parts- and there, amidst the rubble stands Philza Minecraft. He doesn’t notice Tubbo- or at the very least, doesn’t see the beaten and armorless boy president as enough of a threat to turn and face him. Whichever the case is, for a split second he considers giving into that awful temptation that snaps at his heels and pushing Phil into the hole. His wings are still torn. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Instead, he coughs. He feels painfully numb in this moment. Withers rage overhead. Techno’s killed him over and over and over and somehow none of them have managed to stick. He doesn’t know if that’s a good thing anymore. He looks at the man that was once like a father to him as he turns to face Tubbo. A full glance over. Phil’s cheeks are flushed and there's a small smile on his face and determination in his eyes. He looks younger like this, free and happy and full of fire. Tubbo wonders for a moment if to an outsider he’d look like the older one, gaunt and exhausted and so completely drained. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hello, Mr. President,” Phil says in greeting, a smug smile on his face. “Shame what happened to your country.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tubbo thinks he should be angry at that. But the TNT rains from above and the Withers roar in fury, and he feels nothing at all. “Why?” He asks. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Phil pauses for a second. “To teach you a lesson.” He says it like it’s matter of fact, like it’s obvious and Tubbo’s 10 again, being put in timeout after having run off into the woods again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why?” He repeats, more desperate, and a particularly accurate Wither blows the roof off of the camarvan, sitting behind Phil. He whimpers, but can’t bring himself to move and stop the Wither. “What lesson could this possibly teach me?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Phil looks at him sympathetically, and rage begins to boil in Tubbo’s stomach. He doesn’t need the pity of a terrorist. “To not let the government corrupt good men ever again. Power makes people evil, Tubbo.” His tone is condescending, as if Tubbo was unaware of the fact. As if Tubbo hadn’t spent his whole career trying and failing to not end up like his predecessors.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’s quiet for a long time, the booming explosions above them filling in the silence. “Is that what you think I am then? Evil?” He meets Phil’s eyes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No,” Phil says, in such a way that Tubbo knows he means the opposite. “But I think the country was. And I think it made you a monster. I mean, you tried to publicly execute Techno! Who would do-“</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Technoblade would. To me.” He touches the scarred side of his face with a shaking hand as if to point out the obvious- a white and raised splatter of rough and fucked up skin. He can still smell the burning skin and drying concrete.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s different. He was peer pressured.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Peer pressured</span>
  </em>
  <span>? Like how I was peer pressured to exile Tommy. Like how I was peer pressured into spying. Like how I was peer pressured into becoming the fucking president, Technoblade- the guy who never dies, who can shoot me again and again with no remorse as he blows up the one fucking thing I had left- that Technoblade was peer pressured.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Phil grimaces, as if Tubbo’s just told him he failed his english exams again and the teacher’s asked for a conference. He knows Phil is looking at the burnt holes in his suit from where Techno had just shot him not ten minutes prior. “Tubbo, this country was doomed. The government is what forced me to kill my son! It’s what-“</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, I really think that the government had nothing to do with you stabbing Wilbur in a dark room after he destroyed everything he loved because you weren’t there for him. Actually, you know what I think?” For the first time in his career, he feels powerful. Vindicated, in his final moments as the president of a place that never fucking mattered to anyone but him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Phil goes to shout back, but Tubbo’s still talking, steamrolling over him with a confidence he’s never before felt while wearing this suit. He strides forwards, putting a finger to Phil’s netherite chestplate. “I think you’re a pretty shit father.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He can’t stop talking now, the words spilling out of his mouth as he gestures angrily. The fighting is still going on above them, but he pays it no mind. “I think you abandoned Tommy when he was exiled, just like I did. I think you never favored Wilbur until he was dead in your arms. I think you saw a kid in a box on the side of the fucking road and you decided to take that kid in and you never, ever loved him or treated him like he was even a part of your family, even though he adored you.” He heaves a breath, tears in his eyes as he desperately tries not to cry in anger. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I think you called me a monster, and the bad guy, and a shit president. And yeah! I’m fucking awful at this presidency thing. I’m also </span>
  <em>
    <span>seventeen</span>
  </em>
  <span>. I’m not a fucking politician, I’m a teenager. And you were meant to be their dad. You were meant to protect us.” </span>
  <em>
    <span>My dad</span>
  </em>
  <span>, he doesn’t say. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Protect me</span>
  </em>
  <span>, he doesn’t say. He knows Phil won’t pick up on the subtext there. It doesn’t matter.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“...Okay.” Phil looks uncomfortable, like he wants to bite back but instead chooses to hold his tongue. His lack of denial makes Tubbo feel a little sick.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Instead, here we are. You blew up a country. Like father, like son.” He lets out a bitter laugh. “History repeats, and I lose again because I never get to catch a fucking break.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“This isn’t even about you, Tubbo-“ </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’s the president of the country they just blew up in vengeance, and it’s not even about him. Funny how that works. “I know. It never is, is it? President of L’manberg, and your destruction isn’t even about me. Adoptive son, and you never fucking thought about me. I’m like an afterthought or something. To everyone but the guy I was forced to betray.” He sighs. The fight is draining out of him as quickly as it came, and he feels so, so old. The conversation is going nowhere. “Have fun, Phil.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re- what do you mean, have fun?” Philza asks, confused and a little disturbed. Tubbo rubs a hand down his face. He smiles a little, bitter and as small as he feels with fire raining from the skies on the one home he’d ever managed to keep.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There’s nothing he can do anymore. Phil won. If Tubbo had any more fight left in him, he’d ask his shit father what it feels like to win, because he certainly can’t remember. “I’m tired. It’s pointless trying to stop this. I’m not going to be president of a crater again, so I’m done. Have fun blowing up everything your real sons have ever loved. Because I’m certain that if they knew the real you, they’d never love you.” Tubbo snarls with the last of his heat and turns sharply around. He walks away, crawling up the walls of the crater in a too big suit and he doesn’t let himself look back at the man behind him.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>title from “daddy didnt love me” by ajj</p><p>long time no post! i watched tubbos perspective of the streams on jan. 6th and thought the way he just. watched and realized it was all falling apart was very, very sad- and then phil told ghostbur it was to teach a lesson and i wanted to incorporate that because 1) Shit Lesson. Bad Father. Hypocrite. (/rp ofc) and 2) tubbo deserves to get a little angry every once in a while. hope you enjoyed! </p><p>(also the title song in no way actually reflects phil or his character. the song is very very dark and about a VERY VERY bad father. i am in no way comparing the contents of the song to the contents of the canon story or this fanfic. just wanted a title that fit.)</p></blockquote></div></div>
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